Sticks and Stones - words matter when motivating an athlete
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how language shapes our perceptions, influences our behaviors, and sets the tone for interactions. Perhaps it’s because I’m a book nerd and Lit major or maybe it’s because I’ve spent my career as a woman in a male-dominated industry but I pay attention to word choice and how it can impact the meaning, tone, and expectations of the audience in profound ways.
And I’m not the only one thinking about this. Recently, Taylor Swift talked about gendered language in the music industry. For example, she said, “A man can react, a woman can only overreact”. It’s not just the music industry where this happens. I’ve faced it in business where I can say the same thing a man says to a room of people and he is praised but I get spoken to about my “tone”. The message gets lost in the gendered worlds we have to navigate.
In sports, where motivation and mindset are crucial, the words we use can inspire or demotivate, depending on which word is chosen. Much of the motivational language historically used in athletics has been male-oriented, leaving women athletes with metaphors and phrases that often feel irrelevant, exclusionary, or dismissive.
Phrases like "man up," "balls to the wall," or "take it like a man" not only exclude women linguistically but also reinforce outdated notions of toughness and resilience as inherently male qualities. And don’t even get me started on how many sports metaphors have sexual overtones.
When these terms are used to inspire women athletes, they can unintentionally suggest that excellence in sports requires conforming to masculine ideals rather than celebrating the diverse ways athletes express strength, skill, and perseverance.
Women athletes deserve language that reflects their experiences, acknowledges their unique challenges, and celebrates their achievements without defaulting to male-centric norms. So instead of “man up”, let’s use “step up”. Instead of “balls to the wall”, how about “full throttle”? And instead of “take it like a man” how about “stay resilient” or “let’s give it another shot”?
Gender-neutral language resonates universally and creates an inclusive environment that empowers all athletes. This shift is especially important for younger athletes, who often look to coaches and mentors for validation and inspiration. Using inclusive language shows them that their contributions and identities are equally valued.
The shift to gender-neutral language is about unlocking potential. Words have the power to inspire, and when athletes feel fully seen and respected, they’re more likely to perform at their best. By being intentional about the language we use, we can help create a sports culture where every athlete—regardless of gender—feels motivated, included, and celebrated for who they are. The time to change is now. Let’s elevate the conversation.
